Tina Turner recorded a song in the mid-1980s called, “What Love Got to Do with It?” Here are the words from one particular chorus:

            What’s love got to do, got to do with it?

            What’s love but a sweet old-fashioned notion?

            What’s love got to do, got to do with it?

            Who needs a heart when a heart can be broken?

For many people, that sums up love for them. There is something very telling about these words and the words of the entire song. Maybe you never really thought about it like this. The lyrics are all about me; or all about the person who sings the song. The word “I” or some variation of it is repeated throughout, and where the person refers to “you”, it’s really all about me.

This may be why that song became Turner’s most successful single. Everyone can identify with themselves.

 

In 1956, Erich Fromm wrote a book called The Art of Loving. The title is very telling. It’s an art, according to Fromm. That means you have to practise to get good at it.  It doesn’t come naturally.

Listen to Fromm:

“Is love an art? Then it requires knowledge and effort. Or is love a pleasant sensation, which to experience is a matter of chance, something one ‘falls into’ if one is lucky? This little book is based on the former premise, while undoubtedly the majority of people today believe in the latter”.

He’s right. Tina Turner, and all those who bought her song, subscribe to the second definition, which perhaps is why there is so much disappointment. Fromm says that you have to master the theory, that is you must have a thorough knowledge of what it is, and then you have to master the practise of it. If you master only the practise, then the relationship will be shallow. If you master only the knowledge, then it will remain a theory for you.

You’ll never know it for what it is. It’s because most people don’t understand what love really is that relationships fail.

According to Fromm,

“most people see the problem of love as being loved, rather than that of loving, of one’s capacity to love. . . What most people in our culture mean by being lovable is essentially a mixture between being popular and having sex appeal” (Italics, author’s).

Fundamentally, Fromm sees this as the problem. For him, the act of loving is the act of giving. You cannot love unless you are willing to give of yourself.  When you give of your possessions, your money, or your time, you are showing love. Hold that thought.

 

Productivity

Now let’s think about productivity. A definition would be a good place to start.

According to Dictionary.com, the word means,

“the quality, state, or fact of being able to generate, create, enhance or bring forth goods and services”.

There are two other definitions: One is about economics and the other, linguistics, neither of which is relevant for us. Now the first definition is a perfect example of trying to use too few words to say what needs to be said. So, let’s see if we can’t improve it, at least for this article.

“Productivity is the optimum result of efficient and effective effort”.

That definition is probably closer to what you had in mind, and it’s the one we’ll work from. If productivity is the outcome, then what we need to do is understand what went before it. And what went before it is our effort.  That effort has to be both efficient and effective.

From your management education days, you may recall that efficiency is about doing things the right way, and effectiveness is about doing the right things. To look at this another way, you can do the wrong things efficiently or do the right things in an inefficient manner. Both will result in a loss or complete lack of productivity.

In order to achieve optimum results, your effort has to be both efficient and effective. And therein lies the problem. Both efficiency and effectiveness are largely in the eyes of the beholder.

 

What’s love got to do with it?

Just like loving, personal productivity is based on your ability to understand what needs to be done and your ability to do it. Back in the 1960s, an article appeared in one of the American management consultancy newsletters. In it, the authors concluded that most managers didn’t know how to create strategy. Nowadays, the belief is that our strategies are sound, but for some reason we can’t figure out how to implement them consistently.

We all recognise, however, that both are needed. Great strategy poorly implemented will be as disastrous as inadequate strategy applied perfectly. And productivity, whether it’s on a personal or an organisational level, depends on both, too.

 

What’s love got to do with it?

Fromm says that love isn’t sentimentality, but rather it’s the extent to which you’ve developed the capacity to give to others. Love, in this context, is characterised by humility, courage, faith, and discipline and that it includes care, responsibility, respect, and knowledge. From the perspective of personal productivity, it means that you have to make it your business to learn how to give cheerfully. John F Kennedy summed it up this way: “Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country”. The measure of your capacity to love is found in your ability to give to others.

 

What does that have to do with productivity?

We are at our most productive when we include others in our efforts.  The next time you pick up a non-fiction book, read the Acknowledgements.  No one writes a book without help.  Authors generally don’t do the editing themselves. Publishers exist for a reason.  Even if you write for Kindle, you have to conform to Amazon’s guidelines.

 

What’s love got to do with it?

If all you’re concerned about is being loved, then you won’t care about loving others, and certainly not about initiating it.  Instead, all that will interest you is what others will do for you. Funny thing about people is that they are much more willing to help those who help them than they are to assist those who think they’re entitled. And when your self-centredness has developed sufficiently, it will become apparent to all around you that the most important subject in your mind is you.

Zig Ziglar, one of the most successful salespeople in the 20^th century, said that you can have what you want if you help enough other people get what they want.

 

Did you understand that statement correctly?

You have to help enough other people first. You have to enable them to get what they want before they’ll help you get what you want. That’s what love has to do with it.

To look at this another way, there are things that you’ll want to be able to do in your life that will be too big for you. It won’t matter how big a task you’ve successfully completed in the past. Eventually, you’ll have to collaborate with others to achieve some big goal. And when you do, you’ll need to have the professional relationships in place so that you can bring people in to help.

If in the past, you haven’t developed those relationships, then you’ll struggle to find anyone who’s willing to drop everything to help you.

Think about it. You wouldn’t do it for anyone else. Why should they do it for you? The Beatles got it right. “Can’t Buy Me Love.” You probably can’t offer an incentive that’s big enough to get cooperation from people with whom you don’t already have a relationship.

 

What about small things?

You could argue that for you, being productive means clearing your inbox, leaving your desk clean at the end of the day, or cleaning the house so you can go out in the evening. Even if you’re living on your own, personal productivity depends in large measure on your ability to love others.

 

Why?

Simply because selfishness encourages you to waste time.

You’ll think to yourself, “It’s just me. I can do whatever I want to. I can eat a box of chocolates if I want to. I can watch television all afternoon if I want to. I can sit in my pyjamas all day if I want to”.  And you’re right. You can.

Thing is that an undisciplined life is a by-product of self-centredness, and a lack of personal discipline also leads to an unproductive existence. No matter how hard you try, you can’t separate the importance of giving of yourself to others – loving them – from accomplishing much of what you want to do with your life. Have you heard the saying that if you want to get anything done, then you should give it to a busy person?

 

Why does that work?

 

It’s because people who are busy have figured out how to do what matters. Look at their lives. You’ll find that many of them have families with kids of various ages.  Some will be interested in music; others in sports.

You’ll look at their lives and wonder how they can work a full-time job, raise such successful children, have such a good relationship with their spouse or partner, and still have time to spend with their friends and pursue activities that are important to them. It’s because they’re disciplined people and they are in the habit of sharing with others.

On the other hand, look at those who never seem to accomplish anything. These people often are alone. When you meet them, all they can talk about is themselves – their interests, their ailments, their problems. Do you want to be around people like that? Do you want to be someone like that?

If you want to accomplish anything worthwhile in this life, then you have to learn to love others. When you intuitively know how to love others, then you’ll have a healthier view of yourself. You’ll spend your time on what’s most important, and you’ll accomplish those things that matter. Isn’t that what you want?

 

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