There’s still a common misconception among leaders and managers that it’s a sign of weakness to show any sort of emotion; that those who are truly strong are instead super-human; even invincible. It could be the remnants of the stiff-upper-lip society that you’re parents grew up in, or maybe it’s the fault of the media that has taught us that any signs of vulnerability will undermine the confidence that employees place in them. Whatever it is, many people, who by now should know better, believe that that kind of behaviour is inconsistent with the rough-and-tumble of big business.
What’s ironic about that view is that just the opposite is true
The thing that endears leaders and managers the most to those under them is not how tough they are, but how compassionate. One of the reasons for this is that to be compassionate, you also have to be humble; and that’s something that very few people at the top or the bottom of the organisation chart find they can do easily. Many of them will tell you that they don’t have time to “make nice”. In reality, that’s just an excuse. It’s another way of saying, “I’m too important to condescend to the likes of you.”
While your employees may be a bit slow on the uptake; they’re not stupid. They know when you’re patronising them and when you actually care. It’s not rocket science. It’s been said that someone who is wrapped up in him- or herself makes a very small package. And that means that while you’re busy trying to look strong, you’re being perceived as positively anaemic; even pathetic.
So the question is, how can you change your image?
And the answer is that you have to change your attitude first. In other words, you can’t fake it. You have to really care. You have to take time for people. They have to know that they are important to you, and then once they get that message, your image in their eyes will change. This is not the place to pretend.
No doubt you’re familiar with the so-called management style with the cute name of “managing by walking around.” You’ve probably seen this in action: the fake smile, the rhetorical question, “how is everyone” when everyone including the manager knows that he or she doesn’t care, and the cup of coffee that attempts to make the perambulation look friendly.
That’s not how you win friends and influence people
To be fair, leaders and managers aren’t looking for friends per se. They have a job to do. That’s what they’re paid to do, and what they’re accountable for; however, neither of those things exclude courtesy, caring, and compassion. You would do well to remember that while you have responsibilities that you must fulfill, you can’t do any of it successfully without the full support of the people who work for you.
You will attract the loyalty and commitment that you want from your staff by proving to them how much you care about their well-being; not just the bottom line.
It’s a no-brainer